Frustration.

Sigh. I got so upset and frustrated on friday that I didn't even want to talk about it or think about it the whole weekend. Hence why I'm writing this at 11:15 on sunday night. I took my OPK friday expecting a definite positive due to what CD21 looked like and it was negative and really light. I was extremely confused by that. It made me think CD 21's was positive. But it if was positive, why didn't it smile at me? It was the darkest line I'd ever had on an OPK EVER. Not to mention that for the first time in our whole TTC journey, and YEARS, really, I felt like my body was giving me signs. It still was on friday. I felt bloaty, crampy, (not to mention still on both sides) and my lower back hurt. Now there's a twinge of doubt in my mind that I can't trust my own body and gut feeling. ARGH! I felt like screaming. I had a mini meltdown and vented at poor Aaron who couldn't really do much to cheer me up.

I guess the best I can do is just got with my gut and say CD22 is O day. We'll BD and see what happens. Only time will tell. Maybe I'll get pregnant, or maybe I'll start my period on my own again. That will tell me that I did O. And if nothing happens and I don't start AF naturally, I'll know I didn't, and that I really can't trust my body. Argh.