Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Wrong Again

AF is here. I am both extremely happy and incredibly aggravated by her arrival. My friend Anna and I decided this weekend that my uterus is a bitch. A realllllly big BITCH! It seems that every time I've come to "terms" with what is happening, at the very latest possible minute, the exact opposite happens and sends me reeling. But I've decided to let go of the negative and take this as a fabulous, positive thing!

This is the first time I've started a period on my own since I came off birth control pills in December of 2009. It's the first time in 14 MONTHS! The first time since we've been TTC. It was a long cycle, 42 days, but at least it was a NATURAL CYCLE!

I called my doctor, all ecstatic, and she burst my bubble a little. She said that the reason I likely had a period now is because we've forcibly cycled my body since May of 2010 and it was just residual hormones following their course. That likely, I did not ovulate, and that next month I probably won't have a period at all. She told me to go pick up my Provera and hold on to it, because I will probably need it.

I'm glad she was so honest, but what a buzz killer! But I've decided that I'm going to take this as a very positive thing and be happy about it! :)

Friday, February 4, 2011

Back at square one.

That's all I can think about. I've done a giant circle, with no success, and now I'm back at square one. There's a lot on my mind and in my heart, but I can't seem to make it surface. It wants to stay buried for a while. All I know is that tomorrow is cycle day 41 and I will be picking up my rx for Provera. Enough said.