Friday, October 1, 2010

Goodbye, late September.

I know, I know.. It was a hell of a long shot, but a teeny little part of me was hanging on to the fact that the baby psychic said late September would be when we would conceive or find out we were pregnant. October 1st is bittersweet. Another day gone, a day closer to fate. Whatever that is. It's not like I truly believed that it would happen, but it still saddened me today to stare at the calendar and see the month change. Tomorrow is CD21 and still, no O. I'll be patient though. I'll test until I run out of OPKs. I have 5 or 6 more in the box. I still have very good cervical position and plenty of CM, so that's a good sign. I just hate the waiting!! It's so hard to go through the day without constantly thinking about it. I try hard. But it still creeps in a few times an hour. I've gotten better about not talking about it so much with my friends (who know) and Aaron. I think I drove people a little nuts :)

I had kind of a down day today. Seeing a negative OPK day after day gets difficult after a while. I got a little depressed for a few hours. But I have to keep thinking of the positive and hang on to something! So to make me feel better, I listened to this song on my ipod.

Hey, it worked for Cinderella, right?

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

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