In 4 days ...

In 4 days, I finally go to my first doctor's appointment. We had a few hiccups with getting our insurance all figured out, but it's finally time. I'm feeling nervous and scared, but mostly stressed. I've had 4 or 5 stressful dreams about it the last few nights... Things like not being able to find the doctor's office, forgetting my paperwork and insurance card once I finally get there, and getting lost down a long long hallway on my way to the exam room.. I know none of these things will actually happen in real life, so I don't know why I'm so wound up... I think it's just finally dawning on me that ready or not, I'm going to get answers.. in 4 days.. Well, maybe not in 4 days, but in 4 days I will definitely be on the path that will get me those answers...

Am I ready to hear them? Yes and no. No because I'm scared that it's bad news and I don't know how I'll react.. and Yes because even though I'm already setting myself up to get bad news, I want to know. I NEED to know. Seems like time is going by so so slow right now.. I've waited so long to take care of this and now that it's within days of happening, I'm the most impatient I've ever been. It's like, come on already!! I need to hear it..

I'm so thankful that I will have supporters with me that day. Jen and Anna, thank you.

Here's to hoping that the next few days will fly by. And once i have some real answers, I will be more open about what it is. I just don't want to speculate and be wrong. You just never know in life.