This is it.

I was prepared to wait the 2-3 weeks they told me it would take for news, but this morning, the morning of my 30th birthday, I finally got an answer. This is it. After almost 5 years or feeling terrible and struggling through life, I finally have a diagnosis. 

Adult onset human growth hormone deficiency. 

It's rare in adults, and hard to diagnose. But it's the answer to everything that's wrong with me. 

The extremely likely cause for this is a tumor growing on my pituitary gland at the base of my brain. The next step in the process is getting an MRI to find out the size and location of this tumor. Then, removing it. Then, growth hormone replacement therapy. Though I have a diagnosis, I'm not out of the woods yet. It's going to be a long process and recovery, but now that we finally know what it is, we can work on fixing it. 

As scary as brain tumor sounds, getting the news this morning was the best birthday present I could have asked for. This is it. I'm not crazy. I've been suffering for years and now I finally know why. As of right now, as I'm sure this will change, I'm not scared. Just ready to move forward to move toward my happy future. 

I've been given the gift of starting my 30s with the answers I've been seeking and the ability to heal. This means so much to me. The prospect of being 30 isn't so scary anymore. It's beautiful, and encouraging. This decade, all my dreams will come true. I'm certain of it. :)