100th Post.

Is it a coincidence that my 100th post on my blog is when I return to it? It certainly wasn't planned this way, but at the same time it has a certain ring of irony to it. I came to blog to mourn the fact that it's almost December 2013. In my world, that means it's been nearly 4 years since I first started battling infertility. Four years and 100 blog posts. Still no baby.
For those of you following my weight loss blog, I thank you for all your support and encouragement, but as life is again switching gears to my medical health, I decided to change the pace and blog here, where my entire medical history is. Though my weight loss journey was an awesome experience (and it's not over) it didn't work right for me. Not when these other health issues are holding me back.

I guess I should start with the fact that Aaron and I have a whole new life now. We no longer own Bruno's, and took our dogs and jetted off to sunny Arizona. Well, not jetted. Painstakingly drove our tiny car to Arizona is more like it. We needed a change. Our life back in Washington was going down fast and we decided to jump ship. I am so glad we did. I absolutely love life in Arizona. Our strained financial situation followed us, but it's easier to smile and wait for better days when the sun is beaming down on you :)

Health wise, I am still struggling, hence the return to this blog. After waiting a long time for the "feeling normal" to return after I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease, I began to realize that normal was not coming back. I am still suffering from the same symptoms, and it's taken a giant toll on my quality of life. I am constantly drained of all energy and in bed, dealing with nasty insomnia, STILL losing my hair like crazy, period problems and a whollllle bunch of other things I could list off. But I won't. I don't want to give off the impression that I am a whiner. I am ill. My symptoms keep me from living a normal life. I've come to terms with that. But there is a glimmer of hope. For the first time in a long time, I think there may be light at the end of the dark dark tunnel. It certainly feels like it's meant to go my way this time. The seas practically parted to have me meet my new doctor.

Years ago, I met a wonderful friend through the bond of infertility on a message board. Said friend happens to live in Arizona! I was able to meet her for the first time in June of this year! She is just as wonderful as I imagined she would be. Her doctor, who is now my new doctor, helped her conceive her adorable daughter. When she learned that we were moving here, she was excited to share his info with me for when we were ready to try again. Whenever that was...

In August, we were heading back to the Northwest for an amazing family reunion when my dear friend reached out to me to let me know she had heard her doctor was having a free seminar and was offering a free consultation to go with it. It was scheduled literally for the day before we were leaving. She suggested we try to make it, as it would be a great way to meet him and see his bedside manner firsthand without having to make an actual appointment. If we liked him, great! We could follow up with the free consult when the time was right. If not, we didn't have to pay money to realize he wasn't for us! She warned us ahead of time that he was a bit of an unusual kind of doctor. He is eccentric but brilliant. He really steps back and looks at you as a whole, instead of trying to treat each individual symptom. We decided it was a great idea, and that we should sign up for the opportunity to meet him.

The morning of the seminar, poor Aaron woke up with a bad headache. He doesn't get them very often, but when he does, they are a doozy. It was clear he didn't want to go anywhere with the way he was feeling. I decided we should just stay home, and meet him at a later date. But something kept nagging me to go. I decided to follow my gut, and after tucking Aaron back into bed, headed out to his office in Scottsdale alone. I got there a few minutes early and checked in. The receptionist let me know that they were expecting four more couples before we could begin and to have a seat. So I did. And waited.... and waited.. and waited. After about 40 minutes, she had me come up to the desk and told me that it was clear the other couples who had signed up were not coming. She was sure to point out that this was highly unusual for them. They did seminars every once in a while, and always had good attendance. She then presented me with two options. I could watch the seminar alone, or I could have my consultation with Dr. C right then and there. I was completely unprepared, but decided the consult was the best option.

We spent nearly an hour together, going over my history and discussing my symptoms. Dr. C has a giant art pad on his desk and spent the hour doodling as he explained, which happened to be fantastic for me, since I am a visual learner. He gave me his opinion as to what he thought the problem was. Without any other facts to support it, it was his best guess that part of the problem was my immune system. Due to common viruses that most of the population has, (and doesn't know about if their immune system is working right) my immune system was being held hostage in a dungeon (and yes, he drew the dungeon) and the viruses were running around wildly, using my body as a playground and causing massive inflammation in all my cells. He sent me off with two lab slips to get some blood tests going to investigate further. Between the two separate times I had to go during my cycle, the wonderful *cough* lab took 15 vials of my blood for testing.

A few weeks later, Dr. C called me in to his office to give me the results. He had tested very widely to try to catch the real reason why I was still sick. He believes it is a rare condition called "Adult Onset Human Growth Hormone Deficiency". And I thought Hashimoto's disease was a mouthful! Ha! Since he first said those words to me, I have spent hours researching exactly what that is and what it entails. I've learned A LOT. I won't blog about that until the diagnosis is confirmed, however, no need to worry myself (and you) more.

The next step is hurry up and wait. Again. He referred me to a Pediatric Endocrinologist. Why pediatric, you wonder? (as did I.) Because it is condition that most happens in children. Adult onset is rather rare, so I have to see her since she is so well versed in it dealing with children. I called to make my appointment in October, and the soonest they could pencil me in was January 9th. Argh. So here I am. 4 years and 100 posts later, hoping and praying this is it. Please let this be the real diagnosis once and for all so I can get treated and begin to heal!! I'm ready to lead a normal life and be happy. It's time!

So until January, I won't have much to share here. I will trudge through another childless holiday season, and hope that it's the last one! Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year to all my friends reading this who have beautiful families. Enjoy. oxoxoxoxo