February 21st, 2010.

Today, I have been married for 6 months exactly. I can't believe how fast these months have gone by!! To me, the 6 months prior to the wedding, and the 6 months after have FLOWN by. These months have seen a lot of ups and down. Firstly, our honeymoon. Our first REAL vacation together =) Then, even though it ended badly, Aaron getting his job back at Pacific Breeze was an important part of getting back on our feet. And now, after 4 LONG crazy weeks of being emotionally up and down and super stressed out, we finally know he is officially hired by Schwan's. =) I am so happy for him. It's been a long difficult journey of feeling stressed and doubting his self worth. He starts working tomorrow, and I think it will be all downhill from here. We are hoping this will set up the future for us.

For me these last 2 months, it's been a different emotional battle. I've been trying really hard not to think about it too much, or even talk about it with anyone, but it's starting to take it's toll. This is another reason I'm very much relieved that Aaron got this job. We will have access to very good medical insurance and I can finally go to the doctor's to confirm or hopefully absolve my suspicions. I'm not too worried, because I know that no matter what, we can fix it. But it's still stressful to think about. Well, hopefully it won't be a question in the back of my mind too much longer.

Tired of ...

-Waiting.
-Not Knowing.
-The Anticipation.
-The Letdowns.
-The Frustration.
-The Insecurities.
-The Second Guessing my Gut Feeling.
-The Disappointed Faces.
-The "Feeling".
- The Wanting and Longing for What's Rightfully Mine.
- I'm just Tired of IT.