Here we go!

Ready? Set? PALEO!

2 days ago, Monday, I started a new eating regimen. I've decided to call it my new "eating plan" versus my new "diet". I want to stay motivated to keep it fun and light, not a chore.. Make sense? This TTC blog (which it hasn't been for a few months anyway) is going to go on the  back burner for a while and become something that will follow me on a separate journey for a while. Still a part of the same goal, but changing direction for a little while.

Like I've mentioned in many posts before, the main cause of our infertility problems is because of my PCOS and insulin resistance. Which, let's be honest, translates in part to being overweight. I've known this in the back of my mind for a long time, and I knew I had to make a change. What have I been waiting for? I'm not sure. I've started, then stopped. Had success, then failure. Been desperate to make our dreams of starting our family come true, just to get discouraged, disappointed, and fall back into darkness. Not only am I ready to try to commit to this 100%, but I think I am ready to admit that for the last 6 months or so, I have been a little depressed. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday with a new doctor to discuss all these things, and I'm happy about it.

Anyhow! Back to Paleo! I did some research about a diet that a friend I met through TTC told me about. She did it for a while and had really awesome success that brought her the most beautiful gift, her beautiful son Jackson. Paleo, Caveman, PCOS diet, whatever you want to call it, I read up on it and I really liked what I was learning. If you severely break it down, it looks like this:

NOT ALLOWED
Carbs (grains, flours, pasta, potatoes ect...)
Sugars
Dairy
Processed foods

ALLOWED
Lean protein (meats and seafood, eggs)
Vegetables (especially dark green veggies)
Fruits
Raw nuts


Basically, that's what the concept is, and if you're looking at it from the outside, I'm sure it looks really difficult and severe, but so far, I haven't missed anything! I've had temptations, yes, but so far I've been able to resist! And the best part about the plan, is it's not restrictive. The book I'm reading says, hey! If you want carbs, eat carbs. Don't limit yourself (obviously, to a certain extent) so you don't feel cheated. Strive at first for making 5 meals or snacks a week "cheating" if you want them, and gradually, limit that number so that you are eating almost 100% paleo. It's a great book that explains the eating plan in detail and helps with tricks and tips. Additionally, it's a great recipe book! It's filled with lots of easy, accessible recipes that I want to eat! I highly recommend it if you're interested in learning more!

So there it is! I've decided to blog about this to help me stay motivated and excited to post about my ups and downs and my rediscovering how to eat to help fix my problems. I will try to take a picture of what I make to eat each day, and post about it. I'm fortunate enough to be able to cook all my meals at home right now so it's easy to stick to it, as long as I stay on top of the grocery shopping! So here's to a new adventure! Cheers!


DAY 1
Breakfast: Fresh pineapple chunks and strawberries (forgot to take a pic!)

Lunch: Grilled marinated portobello mushroom (marinated in evoo, garlic and oregano) and grilled asparagus.

Snack: Raw nuts

That night, I was very sick and fell asleep and didn't wake up!! So no dinner to show.

DAY 2
Breakfast: Egg white, mushroom and spinach scramble, with pineapple on the side.

Lunch: At lunch, I was still feeling sick, so I just had some raw nuts and a fresh pear.

Dinner: Charbroiled Carne Asada with a side of asparagus and a sauce made from fresh tomatoes and onions.

Snack: Fresh pear



DAY 3
Breakfast: Fresh strawberries.

Lunch: Spinach salad with carrots, tomatoes, red onion, lime and garlic marinated grilled shrimp, and a lemon-lime-evoo dressing.

Snack: Fresh apple

Dinner: Side spinach salad with lemon-lime dressing and a slice of turkey meatloaf.

Days 4 & 5

Days 4 and 5 have been just as easy, if not funner! Exploring new recipes is fun and exciting when you've got the time and patience. I have 75% of both right now. Lucia has been keeping me a little busy with baby clinginess, but that's all part of the fun, right?


DAY 4
Breakfast: Sliced oranges and pear.

Lunch: Roasted beets, carrots, and red onion with a grilled boneless skinless chicken breast.

Snack: Grannysmith apple.

Dinner: Vegetable (Caluliflower, broccoli, carrot, onion, tomatoe, mushroom) coconut curry sprinkled with fresh parsley and cilantro and lime juice.

Snack: Fresh Pear.

DAY 5
Breakfast: Grilled asparagus, one hard boiled egg, and grilled flat iron steak.

Lunch: Vegetable coconut curry revisited :)

Snack: Fresh strawberries:

Dinner: My first "cheat" of the week. Charbroiled turkey/beef burger with a drizzle of ketchup, pickles, lettuce and tomatoes on a white sesame bun. I needed it, too. Watching my Hawks lose in the finals definitely required a few grams of carbs :(  Picture was taken hastily as well, as the game was on. hehe. I had this with a fresh apple.

And once again..

I am foiled by the evil force that is my period. It started, on CD39, with a vengence. Ah well. As long as it's here on it's own again, I guess I don't care. I found out what all the weird spotting does... It equals having your light days so when CD1 is really here, it kicks your ass! But like I said, ah well. At least now this new cycle can start, and I'm going to keep really good track with OPKs this month, just to see if I'm ovulating, for my own curiosity's sake. I kinda doubt it, but crazier things have happened. So we shall see!

I guess it was nice while it lasted

Well, today is CD38, and no sign of AF. It's been an interesting last 2 weeks or so. On CD26, I had a little bit of spotting, so I was super excited, thinking I was right on track to start on CD28 again, but nothing. On CD29 I had some more spotting but it was very odd. One swipe of bright red, then a dark rusty brown, then nothing again. I took 2 HPTs in between CD26 and CD34. Both negative. Then another light tinge of light pink on CD35, and here we are now on CD38. It's frustrating, because I don't know what the spotting means. Maybe it's my body's weak attempt at having a period, but it never really happened? Who knows. The only thing I'm sure of is that CD42 is creeping up and that is the last day I can try to patiently wait for AF to show before I have to start taking provera. I'll take one more HPT before I start taking it, just in case, but I sure as hell am not holding my breath. I'm not feeling anything remotely indicative of pregnancy, but you just never know I guess. I just want to be sure. Just another frustrating bump in the road, but what else is new. Just part of the game.

Cross that...

I got a hold of my doctor today. I guess maybe her office forgot to pay their phone bill, or the phone lines were down for some reason? But either way. I did talk to her today. I told her about my two 28 day cycles, and she seemed happy about it, in her own unenthusiastic way. What was the hardest though is when I first called (it had been about 3 months since I last had) and the receptionist recognized my name (Peachey? NO!) she basically started squealing and asked if I was calling to say I was pregnant. Thanks, but no. I am not.

The main reason for my call was to ask about the Metformin dose, and unfortunately, or fortunately, whichever way you look at it, she wants me to keep going up until I get to 2000mgs per day. She said that it will help me lose weight a lot faster if I stay on track and that lowering my carb/sugar intake will help control how I'm feeling physically. Yea yea yea, I knew that. That's why I stopped taking it in the first place lol. I guess I just need to get back on track and stick to it.

Seems like that's all I'm saying on this blog lately. Get back on track, stay on track. You wouldn't think it would be hard to stay motivated when the end product will be the start to our family.. but darkness can easily swallow you up, let me tell you. At first you don't realize it, and next thing you know, you're way off course and it's just easier to keep going that way. Nothing "right" is easy, is it. Not that I didn't realize that before, but I really do now. Ah well. I'm tired of saying, here's to a new beginning. So eff that. Here's to a continuance. Here's to another shot at making the effort to do this.

Well ...

What do you know, I've had another natural 28 day cycle. sheesh. And to top it off, I think I might be ovulating! I have no way of knowing for sure, as I don't have any OPKs on hand, but I have a slight feeling telling me it might be happening. I had some EWCM the other day right at CD14 (aka, the ultimate "normal girl" O day) and I've been on a roller coaster of emotions and mood swings today hahaha. Good times. Could just be in my head, but I guess I'll see!

I got REALLY sick this last weekend when I upped my dose of Metformin to 1000mgs and ate poorly. Yuck. So Monday I decided to call my Dr and talk about the dosage since we technically aren't currently TTC. I have her number saved in my phone and did everything as usual, and the number to her office is disconnected!! WTF. I tried getting in contact with her another way, since she worked out of that particular clinic too, but I'll be pretty upset if the Dr I've been working with for nearly a year and whom I've made so much progress with, just fell off the face of the earth without letting her patients know! Not to mention if that clinic went out of business for some unkown reason, who the hell has my medical records, if God forbid, I have to start over with a new OBGYN? I guess maybe the RE's office may have them, but I've only been there once. Ugh, kind of annoyed here.

But anyway! It's interesting to see what my body is doing on it's own!

Stealing this!

But I'm cheating and I'm doing it all in one day, instead of 30 ;)

1) A picture of yourself with 10 facts.

1- I'm really scared of turning 27 in 3 days..
2- I LOVE HOCKEY.
3- I'm Canadian.
4- I have a blanket that I can't sleep without.
5- I've been married for 573 days, 23 hours, 6 minutes, and 31 seconds.
6- I love my 3 best friends; Anna, Jen, and Jawnell.
7- I now live with 4 dogs.
8- I miss the sunshine.
9- I miss my family.
10- I have a plant named Frank.


2) A picture of you and the person you have been close with for a while.



3) A picture of the cast from your favorite show.



4) A picture of a habit you wish you didn't have.



5) A picture of your favorite memory.




6) A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.




7) A picture of your most treasured item.




8) A picture that makes you laugh.




9) A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.




10) A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with. (do we? lol)




11) A picture of something you hate.




12) A picture of something you love.




13) A picture of your favorite band.




14) A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.





15) A picture of something you want to do before you die. (Montreal Canadiens Game)




16) A picture of someone who inspires you.




17) A picture of someone who has made a huge impact on your life recently.





18) A picture of your biggest insecurity.



19) A picture of you when you were little.




20) A picture of somewhere you'd like to travel. (Fiji)




21) A picture of something you wish you could forget.




22) A picture of something you wish you were better at.




23) A picture of your favorite book. (Too many!!)




24) A picture of something you wish you could change. (Having people I love live in 2 different countries.)





25) A picture of your day.




26) A picture of something that means a lot to you.




27) A picture of yourself and a family member.




28) A picture of something you're afraid of. (Just looking at this makes me want to cry.)




29) A picture that can always make you smile.


30) A picture of someone you miss.

So now I'm "normal"?

What they heck body, WHAT GIVES!!!

Yesterday, I just ended my period that again, started on it's own, and that was a very normal 29 day cycle! Yay! I just don't understand it. When I was doing everything right, taking all the medication and vitamins and fertility drugs, nothing was happening. And now... now that I've been so pissed off at life and stopped giving a crap for 2 months about taking medication that was helping me or eating better, NOW I have a normal cycle.

Figures.

Ah well. I guess maybe it's just nature's way of guiding me back on track. I didn't mean to give up on myself like that these last few months, but I guess if I take a second and look, it's what I did. I need to get back to the way things were headed.

A lot is changing in life right now, so why not do everything all at once, right?

Wrong Again

AF is here. I am both extremely happy and incredibly aggravated by her arrival. My friend Anna and I decided this weekend that my uterus is a bitch. A realllllly big BITCH! It seems that every time I've come to "terms" with what is happening, at the very latest possible minute, the exact opposite happens and sends me reeling. But I've decided to let go of the negative and take this as a fabulous, positive thing!

This is the first time I've started a period on my own since I came off birth control pills in December of 2009. It's the first time in 14 MONTHS! The first time since we've been TTC. It was a long cycle, 42 days, but at least it was a NATURAL CYCLE!

I called my doctor, all ecstatic, and she burst my bubble a little. She said that the reason I likely had a period now is because we've forcibly cycled my body since May of 2010 and it was just residual hormones following their course. That likely, I did not ovulate, and that next month I probably won't have a period at all. She told me to go pick up my Provera and hold on to it, because I will probably need it.


I'm glad she was so honest, but what a buzz killer! But I've decided that I'm going to take this as a very positive thing and be happy about it! :)

Back at square one.

That's all I can think about. I've done a giant circle, with no success, and now I'm back at square one. There's a lot on my mind and in my heart, but I can't seem to make it surface. It wants to stay buried for a while. All I know is that tomorrow is cycle day 41 and I will be picking up my rx for Provera. Enough said.